WHEN THERE IS CONFLICT WITH THOSE I CARE ABOUT?

Hello, everybody. I'm Trevor Davis, Great Commission Church's pastor. Thanks for being here today with us. Find Matthew, chapter five in your bibles. That's the first book in the New Testament.

Fifth chapter, Matthew, chapter five. We have two more Sundays in this series called how can I be happy? And today the question is, how can I be happy when there is conflict with those that I care about? I think that it's appropriate for Mother's Day to be helpful to moms and dads and children. So you're probably one of those three.

Here are some quotes about moms on Mother's Day. First, from Dorothy Canfield Fisher, a mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. Karen White wrote, being a mother is like being a gardener of souls. You tend your children, making sure the light always touches them. Victor Hugo said, a mother's arms are made of tenderness, and children sleep soundly in them.

And finally, F. Scott Fitzgerald said to his mother, you are the finest, loveliest, tenderest and most beautiful person I have ever known. And even that is an understatement. Well, those are beautiful thoughts. I think we all agree.

And for many of us, they ring true. But there's another angle. There's another reality. While we love to say nice things to our mothers, and we should, especially on Mother's Day, to honor her and to make her feel good. And the truth is, not all moms loving life right now.

So I want to be mindful of that. Some are grieving loss. Some are suffering under an awkward season of conflict inside some of the very closest relationships that they have. And these are the ones who are secretly crying out for a relief. They want a solution.

They long for an emotional ceasefire. They want everyone to put down their swords. And if you'll think about that with me, now you're ready for today's verse, today's beatitude from Jesus near the beginning of his most famous sermon, called the Sermon on the Mount. So here's today's blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Let's pray together before we start, Father, it is with great anticipation that I stand over your word today and feed your sheep and challenge new friends to meet Jesus and come into your family.

And Father, I pray that I would fade away. And like John the Baptist said, I must decrease, he must increase. And so, Lord Jesus, it's your time. We want you to be seen. We want you to be known.

We want you to be heard. I pray that everyone in here including the moms, would be blessed with grace today. As they hear in Jesus name, the faith filled church said, amen. What if I told you that this is the only place in all the Bible, the word peacemaker appears? And I also want to clarify that Christ did not say, blessed are the peaceful.

This is not about personality. Neither did he say, blessed are the pacifists. It's not about politics. Blessed are the peacemakers. And so here's how I outline my sermons.

I ask questions, typically, and answer the questions from the Bible. Question number one. What is a peacemaker?

I'm gonna give you some ideas on what they are, but first, why do you even need them? Peacemakers are needed when peace is either threatened or it's absent. And if I were gonna make an attempt at a definition from the Bible about what is a peacemaker, it's those who work for peace.

But this beatitude is not about being a passively peaceful person. This is not another one of those verses that you might think is scattered throughout the Bible that says, could you be a nicer guy? Could you be a more pleasant lady? This is not what this is about. This beatitude is not about being a passively peaceful person, but an active reconciler.

Those who work for peace. And here's a verse that backs that up. Psalm 30 414, depart from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it. So a peacemaker is a peace pursuer and a peace doer.

And let me clarify further. When Jesus is blessed are the peacemakers, he doesn't really mean third party intervention. Instead, it is seeking ways of handling your own business. When the peace is gone, in your own life and in your own family, you go handle that. So let me tell you what this beatitude is not.

It's not. Blessed are the referees. He's not saying, look, what I need is to find some people in the church who will go and. And referee and umpire and call balls and strikes over people that are feuding. No, you gotta make it far more personal, because blessed are the peacemakers is not some job description for someone else for you to consider and go, maybe I should sign up for that.

He's saying, no. At some point in your life, there's gonna be so much wrong, and there's gonna be so many at odds in your sphere of influence that you have to do something about it. And then you first have to look and go, what role did I play in disturbing the peace? Blessed are the peacemakers. Peacemakers are not inclined to engage in disputes.

They don't look for conflict and they surely don't enjoy it. And while let's agree that's an admirable personal quality, Jesus is talking about more than that. He refers not to peacekeepers, but to peacemakers. Look at me. Those who bring the quarreling together, especially if they're one of the quarrelers.

The apostle Paul wrote about this. Romans 1218. If it's possible. As much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. It's the as much as depends on you part that connects to Jesus beatitude.

Blessed are the peacemakers. They're the sons of God. So those who practice peace shall be called sons of God. Somebody wrote, there's something God like in bringing peace to people and people to peace. So there's my answer to the first question.

What's a peacemaker? All that I just said. Did you get it all we good. Question number two. Who is the supreme peacemaker?

Well, you're at church, right? It's probably not a trick question. God is the supreme peacemaker. And we read about it in Colossians chapter one, verses 19 and 20. The second person of the godhead is referred to here, for it pleased the Father that in him, in Jesus all the fullness should dwell.

Do you understand that? There's not any portion of God that doesn't dwell in Jesus. So he's a pretty big deal. And by him, by Jesus, to reconcile all things to himself, by him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made. What?

Say it. Having made peace through the blood of his cross, Jesus violent death for sinners is your only hope for peace.

And this quality marks his disciples as his sons, because sons share the characteristics of the father, and their father treats his enemies well. I was at a wedding, like for my second cousin a couple weekends ago, and her second cousin's family was there, and I hadn't seen them maybe in 30 years. And I knew the dad. I knew what he looked like 30 years ago, but I hadn't seen him in 30 years. I knew he had three sons, but I forgot that even though I grew up, in my mind, his sons were still those little boys I knew.

And I looked over there and I thought I saw him. But it was his youngest son. You've all seen spitting images of the father or the mother. This was the most spitting image I've ever seen in all of my life. It spooked me.

I've never seen a person look so much like their dad. And that's what the world should say about christians. I've never seen people so good at making peace like the son of God when he died for sinners, making peace with them through the blood of his cross.

Did you know that by Jesus atoning work on the cross, he's provided two things. Romans five one, he's provided peace with God. And Philippians four seven, he's provided the peace of God. And so if you're new to the christian faith, maybe you're not one, and you were wondering what that means. You can become a Christian today by believing that Jesus Christ is your only hope, that there's more to life than the one you're living, and that there's something after this life.

And if you want to have any chance of being with God in the next world, the only solution is to go through the Lord Jesus Christ. There is not a name given under heaven among men by which we must be saved except the name Jesus. Acts, chapter four, verse twelve. And he said himself, I'm the only way to my father. John 14 six.

And so I would say to you that if you want to become a child of God today, then John, chapter one, verse twelve is for you. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God. You don't even have the right to go to heaven until you receive Jesus as your Lord and savior.

And if you'll come to Jesus, he'll make peace between you and his father. And if you come to him, he'll give you the peace that transcends all understanding. It's all about Jesus Christ. Or the church is wasting her time. Did you know that peace is the prevailing climate of the kingdom of God?

So that if you have any loved ones who knew the Lord that are dead, their bodies have died, and they're no longer with us? The Bible says to be absent from the bodies, to be present with the Lord. It says, to be absent here is to be at home with the Lord. And Jesus said to a dying sinner who believed in him, today you'll be with me in paradise. In paradise, it's peace.

Nobody's mad, nobody's crying, nobody hurts anymore. And if that's the peace you want, only Jesus gives it. There is no other way to heaven except through the Lord Jesus Christ. What other message do we have?

If peace is the prevailing climate in God's kingdom, then that means that those who thrive on conflict, those who love contention, those who are always cynical, and those who love to criticize and deploy all other anti peace measures and attitudes. It means those cannot experience the kingdom. And what if I told you that Jesus is different than the world told you that he is. What if I told you that Jesus said he didn't come to bring the earth peace? I'm gonna give you a date.

You tell me if you're a little bit older, if you tell me this date means anything to you. Ready? May 25, 1986. Anybody got it? May 25, 1986.

It was the Memorial Day weekend. I was in the 6th grade. I think there was a major happening in America, and the idea was, we're going to do a fundraiser on Memorial Day weekend, and we're going to ask all the nation to join in. And here was the request, pay $10. All the money goes to a charity.

And the charity was to fight hunger and homelessness in America. And the idea was, we're going to make a human chain of people holding hands as far we want to go from the west coast to the east coast. Do you remember what it was called? Hands across America. Right.

Do you remember this? Did any of you do it? Are you willing to admit it? Nope. No one?

Oh, I see somebody. Hands across America was great. It raised a lot of money. Now, there were big breaks in the chain, right? But 5.5 million Americans got out that day and kind of did the event and raised a lot of money to help people in need.

Why'd you tell me about hands across America? Because people think that Jesus is hands across America. Jesus, they're really, if you knew him and he were on earth today, what he wants to do is he wants everybody to hold hands, drink a Coca Cola, give everybody hugs, and tell everybody how great they look. Right? He's the nicest guy that's ever been, and he would never say or do anything to.

And I go, that may, somebody may think there's a Jesus like that, but he's not the Jesus of the Bible. Look what he said. Matthew, chapter ten, verses 34, 35, and 36. See if this sounds like hands across America. Jesus, do not think that I came to bring peace on earth.

I did not come to bring peace, but a sword for I. And look what, look what he says he's going to disrupt. I've come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's enemies will be those of his own household. Holy cow.

Did you know the Bible said that Christ said he would divide entire households? And what he means, if you read in context with the message that he brought from heaven.

Now we're talking about Jesus looking to a crowd of people in his most famous sermon and saying, blessed are the peacemakers. That's who the sons of God are. This is my job as a preacher. It's to take you back in time a couple thousand years to first century Israel, put you in another culture, put you in another religious worldview, put you under a different government, open your ears to hear how the son of God sounded to his original hearers and interpret it for you. Can we do that just for a second?

Think you can? Follow me. How did Jesus immediate hearers receive the teaching, blessed are the peacemakers. They're the sons of God? Well, this is not the first beatitude we covered.

Is that true? Didn't we start on Easter Sunday? We're six or seven in here by now. You've kind of got this, and I want to take you back for a couple of those. If the promised reward reverses the previous shame.

Let me say that again. If the promised reward reverses the previous shame. We've had at least two examples of this. Jesus says, bless those who hunger. They'll be filled.

All right. The reward is being filled. The previous shame was hungering. He says, blessed are those who mourn. They'll be comforted.

The previous shame was grieving and mourning. The reward is being comforted. If that's still what's happening here, and it is, then the peacemakers, Jesus calls them the sons of God. So the reward is to be called the sons of God. Then what was the previous shame?

Apparently, they had lost something very important, some very important level they'd achieved, some important status they held in the community. Remember, Jesus is saying, if you're shamed in our culture, you're blessed in the kingdom. And he looks at these hearers, and he says, I need you to start becoming peacemakers. And you know that me saying that is out of left field, because nobody in our culture thinks you should be a peacemaker. Do you want to know why?

Because they live in an honor shame culture. And in an honor shame culture, there are honor challenges. And look, you've seen these in movies from Victorian England or some 18 hundreds, France. And some aristocrat comes to his enemy, and he slaps him in the face in front of all his peers, and there's a big gasp. And then the guy says, well, I would like to challenge thee to a duel at sunlight in the morning.

You seen these? Okay, so that's like the european version of honor shame. It's an honor challenge. If someone slaps you or spits on you in public, you're supposed to return that fire. Well, this was absolutely what's happening here in first century Israel.

And Jesus said, hey, if your honor gets challenged, put your weapon down. This is what my kingdom's like. If you're shamed, don't try to get your honor back. Let God do it. So, it goes something like this.

If the aggressor, if he's the one who made the honor challenge, if he was kind of the jerk, and he's in the crowd and hears Jesus say, blessed are the peacemakers, and he goes, well, how do I apply that to my life? Well, if now the aggressor must reconcile himself to the person that he's injured, then that means peacemaking is undoing his honor challenge. He is de escalating an expected confrontation. And this is the kind where they're onlookers, and they would see the aggressor as somebody who picked a fight, but he couldn't finish what he started.

To bow out of an honor challenge. If you do that, you invite mockery in your culture. That means he loses face and he receives ridicule. Now, what chapter in Matthew are we in? Say it out loud, and we're at verse nine.

If you go down to verses 38, 39, and 40, you'll see what I'm saying. Jesus said, you've heard. It was said, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. That is absolute honor. Shame 101.

Somebody takes your eye, you gouge theirs out. Somebody knocks your teeth out, you take theirs. Let me tell you why. Everybody look at me. Honor.

Shame. Challenges are a zero sum game. There's a winner, there's a loser. There are never any ties. There are never any draws.

There are never any bowing out. Jesus says, I'm changing everything. Verse 39. But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him.

Also, if anyone wants to sue you and take away your tunic, let him have your cloak also. So, Jesus tells the aggressors, if you slapped somebody, you need to go make it right with them and lay down your weapon. Be willing to lose face in front of your whole community. But what if you're the person that got slapped? If he's the injured party who's been otherwise insulted, then peacemaking for him means giving up his.

His opportunity for revenge. There is no longer eye for an eye in Jesus kingdom, and that is culturally shameful in first century Israel. So both figures, the one who did it and the other one who had it done to him, stand to lose face in the eyes of their neighbor if they obey Jesus. So now listen. For cultural reasons, we interpret the peacemaker in Matthew, chapter five, verse nine, as a man shamed in the eyes of his neighbors because he sidestepped the expected actions in this honor, shame culture.

Now listen to me. Shamed by his neighbors, he's honored by Jesus. Which would you rather be?

God's the supreme peacemaker. My last question, who makes peace in the Bible? Who makes peace? Who reconciles? I'm going to give you three answers, and they're going to offend.

Everybody ready? Well, the first people in the Bible that Jesus says makes peace are the aggressors. I call them the ones who did it.

What chapter are we in? Matthew. What? In Matthew 523 and 24, Jesus says, if you bring your gift to the altar, if you come to worship God and there, remember that your brother has something against you. What I love is he doesn't give any disclaimers here.

He says, if you come to worship the Lord and somebody's offended with you, he doesn't say if you did it. He doesn't say if you agree with their offense. If there's a broken relationship and someone thinks you're the cause, leave your gift before the altar. Leave it there. Go your way.

First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. Jesus is saying, look, you can't live with broken relationships and be okay with that. And come approach God and think your worship's okay with him. In other words, you can't live saying, I can be right with God, but not be right with my brother. Jesus says, first your brother, then you can come be with your lord.

Does that make sense? That should be very offensive to you. That is nearly an impossible standard. And without the spirit of God living in you, you'll never do it.

Jesus instructs the attacker to be reconciled with the person he's hurt. So the aggressors make peace in the Bible. Number two, the injured make peace in the Bible, the one to whom it was done, the aggressors did it. The injured are the ones he did it to.

I'm going to read a verse, and you tell me who the injured party is in this verse. Second Corinthians 519. That is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation. Who was injured in this verse? The answer is God.

God is the injured party in this verse, and he shows us his gracious nature when it says, not counting their trespasses against them. Another english version says, not counting their sins against them. So God's the injured party. And when he's challenged, he doesn't seek revenge. Instead, he seeks to remedy the issue.

Listen to me very carefully. Jesus instructs the aggrieved person, and you may be today the person who was hurt. Jesus instructs the aggrieved person to be reconciled to the person who wounded him or her physically or by insult. I'm not talking about if somebody did a crime to you. That's different.

You go to the authorities and they deal. They adjudicate all that. But in normal human relationships, if you have some that are broken and you're the hurt person, Jesus says, if you belong to me, when you represent my kingdom, you go and say, how can I be like God, not counting their sins against them? You know, the book of proverbs says it's the glory of God to overlook and insult. And it also says in proverbs, love covers a multitude of sins.

If you thought the aggressors having to go make it right was bad, the injured having to do it, it's even worse.

It's almost like Jesus kingdom standard is so high, he has to do all the work and we have to get in by grace. It's almost like that.

And then lastly, who makes peace? In the Bible, the mutually feuding, your closest associations.

Can we talk?

The most common conflict we experience in life is with those who are closest to us, right? The ones who are closest to you by proximity have the opportunity to sin against you more than anybody else. Tell me if this is true or not. Husbands and wives argue frequently. Yes.

Is it just me and Agey? Don't y'all think we're kinda holy?

It's not just us, but parents and children disagree.

Have you had any? Teenagers?

They think they're geniuses and they think you're stupid. And you just know. You just know. They're gonna be 22 one day. They're gonna be 22 one day.

When they get there, they're gonna find out how stinking smart I've always been. Is that true?

So parents and children disagree. This one's tough. Sibling rivalry emerges. Go back to the book of Genesis. It started with the first two, the first two brothers.

All right, ready? Man? I need courage to do this next part. The New Testament raises the standard high when it comes to conflict with our dearest loves. Let's just take a verse about marriage in one corinthians 711.

This is about a husband and a wife whose marriage is crumbling. Paul writes to the Christians, even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. Remember when I told you all three of these answers of who makes peace in the Bible is going to be offensive, just about all of us.

This peacemaking in this verse is radical and it is countercultural. Jesus is saying, both of you, wife, be reconciled, husband, don't divorce.

Paul's statement goes this far. If you cannot get along, married people, if you cannot come to an agreement, if you end the marriage, then by no means should you remarry because the grass is greener where you water it, not on the other side of the fence. And then Paul says, reconciling is better than divorce. So make peace. I hope that disturbs you a little.

Look, you need gospel truth to weigh on you because the world's tolerance of sin is so high, and you drink from it every day, even if you don't want to, that it takes away your biblical worldview. And we just, it's just a free for all now. And we think now because of that, that nobody ever displeases God, but we do. So if the hearts do not soften enough to follow the Lord's instruction, then Paul says, then we leave it to him. We leave it to God.

We don't chase this down. We don't get people in a holy headlock and say, this is what the Bible says. And even if you don't want to do it, we're going to do it by God. We don't make it worse. I just read one corinthians 711.

There's a follow up verse, first corinthians 715, if the unbeliever departs the marriage, let him or her depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. And why? Because God has called us to what say the word. Blessed are the peacemakers.

Remember earlier I gave you that verse if it's possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with all men. Sometimes you just can't. But it wasn't because of your attitude. It was when somebody else's. Then you're free, and you're not under bondage.

A peacemaker arises in a season of conflict to call off the feud, but they don't stop there. They swear off further aggression. They commit to no more offenses, no more attacks, no more violence, no more hostility. A reconciler stops the spiral of reply and revenge. Reply and revenge.

Who makes peace? God says, all y'all.

You don't have to. Just live with it. So here's the application of the message, and I'm done. How can I be happy when there's conflict with those I care about? Well, I kind of just gave you the notes on how to do it.

Here's the answer. By God's grace, I will work for peace and for his glory. He'll decide whether to grant it. Either way, I have satisfaction knowing I showed Jesus to those in conflict. Conflict.

We good? Wasn't too hard to understand. Still love me? Okay. It's important, you know, it's more important that you love God and you know him.

Receive Jesus today. Let's bow for prayer.

Father, we honor your word, and we want to be the sons of God. Those who inherit the universe make us peacemakers. In Jesus name.